so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
