week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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