Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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