We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Randomize
