I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize