you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
