Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
