FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
