There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
