Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
