The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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