normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
