I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
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He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
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I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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