You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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