lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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