I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
