Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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