i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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