I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
