Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
