I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
