The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
