just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
