i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
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btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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