everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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