Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
