Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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