is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
only if we run a train.
done.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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