im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
