dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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