You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
