I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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