I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
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It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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