After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize