She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
