Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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