If i could tip my vagina, i would.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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