In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
