I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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