Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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