We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize