I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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