my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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