I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize