hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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