He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
