we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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