end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
