How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
