The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
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