Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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