Kareoke will never be a sober sport
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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