he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
