You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
