I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
