he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
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There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
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I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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